Seven Ways To Create Deep Attraction Using Conversation
Posted: Sunday, March 04, 2007
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
It has been said that “awareness" is that time between naps. Many unsuspecting people are exposed to communication and seduction techniques that are clearly structured in the exact same way hypnotists use to put people to “sleep."
Too often when people speak to one another, all they're doing is downloading information onto each other. It is easy to talk to someone for hours and hours without entering into a genuine relationship with him or her. Worse, they're often doing it as “just the facts Maam/Sir" - feeling pressured to find out what “we have in common before we waste more time". This tendency to simply exchange stats stops conversation rather than keeps it going.
1. Avoid offering solutions (including giving advice or sympathy) – When people open up to share their true emotions and desires they are not doing it because they want to be told what to do about a problem. Sometimes, it’s best to just ask more questions, using their own experience and let them talk. Sometimes all people want is to be heard.
2. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings, experience or comment before sharing a similar experience or making a contribution of your own. It's reassuring to the other person and creates a sense of solidarity or closeness.
3. Be involved, animated and excited – Avoid wearing one single look and using one monotonous voice to bore the other person into tears, all in the name of conversation. To be interesting and unpredictable, use facial expressions to create moods, vary your voice to create different characters etc.
4. Use suggestive spaces - Don't talk too much and at greater length leaving the other person feeling that he or she did not have the opportunity to speak. If you say something, it must be a prod for the other person to join in. The best use of suggestive spaces is “call-and –response" conversation where you use humour, puzzles and phrases that draw in the other person to participate.
5. Tell stories that are deeply meaningful to you - Most people try to tell stories that are supposedly funny just to entertain the other person; this is good but not enough. Stories that are from your heart (funny or not) are more likely to create a heart-to-heart-connection. When you tell your story make it in the present tense. The present tense puts the listener inside the story. It implies that the story does not belong to you alone, but to you and the person listening—you are experiencing it together.
6. Engage in witty repartee – Use the surprise element or “shock" effect to create pleasurable anticipation (not uneasiness); use his or her own words or phrases, twist and turn them around, and pretend to misinterpret and misconstrue what he or she is saying – but make sure he or she knows you are just being playful and not hurtful.
7. Accept disruptions and encourage disagreement – Take more interest in understanding where he or she is coming from rather than trying to achieve agreement or to change his or her mind . People feel closer to you when they feel listened to and treated well.
By simply changing how you engage in conversation, you can dramatically change the chemistry. If you are looking for more ways to seduce a man or woman using conversation, visit my websites for intriguing and unconventional ways of seducing and creating deep and lasting attraction.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng, Internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of ebook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™ helps men and women cultivate that NATURAL EASE that draws the opposite sex in - without the mental stress and emotional frustration of today's dating dynamics.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
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