Home » Talking About Yourself – How To Present Yourself In A More Attractive Light

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Have you noticed that most men and women really don’t know how to present themselves to the opposite sex? For two hours people sit talking about their miserable lives and wonder why the other person never called after the date or why he/she doesn’t pick up the phone when you call.

The argument I often hear is “If I can’t be open and talk about my hurt feelings, then I don’t want a relationship with that person". If this is your position, let me ask you a question "Has it occurred to you that nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone whose life is so full of misery or is so boring that they are the only positive or interesting thing in it?" Unless a person is so desperate that he/she will take anyone – and anything - most people turn the other away and run for their lives, literally.

If you’ve been reading my articles, my approach has always been PLAY UP YOUR STRENGTHS. Instead of claiming to be someone you are not, or throwing in some robotic conversation starters that do nothing to show you are unique or interesting, capitalize on who you are, what you’ve done, where you’ve been and who you’ve helped.

The secret is knowing where to draw the line between down right boastfulness and using intriguing statements; between self-promotion and offering invaluable information; and between being pushy or self-interested and feeling comfortable and confident talking about yourself.

Carefully chosen words and subtle cues such as your tone of voice and facial expressions that divulge something about yourself that you would be proud for him/her to know will put your own position in a favorable light.

Here are a few examples:

1. Sunny personality – Talk about how you woke up one morning feeling all down and how you got yourself into a state of excitement about the day and actually ended up having a great day – may be even cheered up somebody else.

2. Big heart – Talk about a time when a family member, friend or co-worker was going through a rough time (illness, break-up or loss of job) and you did all you could to help but still felt inadequate and useless.

3. Monetary success - Talk about the revelation you had when you found out that money doesn’t buy happiness.

4. Academic smarts - Talk about the isolation you felt when your classmates mocked you for graduating first in your class.

5. Ability to master other languages - Talk about the embarrassment of knowing how to speak English, French, and German but not Portuguese.

6. Excellent cooking skills – Talk about how you got a recipe wrong and managed to make something that your guests really enjoyed.

7. Well traveled/appreciates diversity- Talk about how your own beliefs and perceptions about yourself, others and life in general were forever changed by experience in another culture, sacred place or participation in a ritual or ceremony.

Like I said everyone has got something. If you don’t know what you’ve got, ask a close friend or relative better yet ask several friends and relatives and look at the most common strengths they list.

If you are not having a lot of success with the opposite sex because you don’t want to appear fake, manipulate and insincere, it’s time to step back from the way you have always approached your interactions or dates, overcome your fears about talking about yourself and become an interesting, intriguing and mysterious person the opposite sex want to be around. There is a place for fascinating authentic people even in this unauthentic dating marketplace.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.

Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com