The Art of Flattery – Beginner’s Guide
Posted: Sunday, April 15, 2007
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
If you are not familiar with the rules of engagement, flattery that creates attraction rather than “uneasy feeling" can be quite hard to pull off.
Here are some very basic guidelines for beginners:
1. Be charming about it
A wonderful combination of fun, laughter and playful affection makes anything that comes out of your mouth taste like nectar.
2. Be genuine
This is the difference between excessive insincere praise and good-natured flattery (see my articles section of my website: The Art Of Flattery - Using Flattery To Become More Attractive).
3. Start with the visual
The visual is a good place to start because it is obvious and most people put a lot of energy into how they look. Notice where the person has put some extra effort and acknowledge it. Even if there isn't much, what matters is that you noticed it.
4. Make it personal
Saying some flattering words about what one has done is effective but saying flattering words about the person (self) is even more effective. For example saying to him/her, “You are an amazing Doctor/Lawyer" is nice but saying, “I love your smile/sense of humour" will make his/her day. Just watch how he/she lights up!
5. Use short sentences
Going on a rant reduces the effect of the flattery and you might say some things that negate the effect you intended.. So use short sentences. A simple rule is to think of the kind of flattering statements you would most like to hear from someone else about you.
6. Take advantage of the surprise element
Saying “I love your smile" from the moment you meet him/her is a good way to start the date but saying it mid-date is powerful. When he/she least expects it, drop the dynamite!
7. Make eye-contact
Make sure your words are accompanied with direct eye contact and sincere smile. Show genuine interest.
Always keep in mind that flattery works best when the underlying motive is not to get something from it, but to make the other person feel good about him/herself which will in turn make you feel good about yourself. At this point anything can – and often does—happen!
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
Here are some very basic guidelines for beginners:
1. Be charming about it
A wonderful combination of fun, laughter and playful affection makes anything that comes out of your mouth taste like nectar.
This is the difference between excessive insincere praise and good-natured flattery (see my articles section of my website: The Art Of Flattery - Using Flattery To Become More Attractive).
3. Start with the visual
The visual is a good place to start because it is obvious and most people put a lot of energy into how they look. Notice where the person has put some extra effort and acknowledge it. Even if there isn't much, what matters is that you noticed it.
4. Make it personal
Saying some flattering words about what one has done is effective but saying flattering words about the person (self) is even more effective. For example saying to him/her, “You are an amazing Doctor/Lawyer" is nice but saying, “I love your smile/sense of humour" will make his/her day. Just watch how he/she lights up!
5. Use short sentences
Going on a rant reduces the effect of the flattery and you might say some things that negate the effect you intended.. So use short sentences. A simple rule is to think of the kind of flattering statements you would most like to hear from someone else about you.
6. Take advantage of the surprise element
Saying “I love your smile" from the moment you meet him/her is a good way to start the date but saying it mid-date is powerful. When he/she least expects it, drop the dynamite!
7. Make eye-contact
Make sure your words are accompanied with direct eye contact and sincere smile. Show genuine interest.
Always keep in mind that flattery works best when the underlying motive is not to get something from it, but to make the other person feel good about him/herself which will in turn make you feel good about yourself. At this point anything can – and often does—happen!
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
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