Why Women Who Wait For A Man To Make The First Move Lose The Man
Posted: Thursday, May 24, 2007
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
One of the biggest mistakes that many women make with men is WAITING for him to make the first move or decide on what he wants to do about being together. But while you are waiting he has left or some other proactive woman has snatched him right from under your watch. Even worse the men who "make the move" on you are those you wish would not -- those who make you feel insulted and cheapened just because they approached you -- and the ones you really want and pray for are out there making it out with some woman who made a move on them (you know the woman you call a slut because she got what you want).
I hear excuses like "I was not brought up like that' or "women in my culture don't make the first move" or "men like women to be feminine" or "men don't like it when a woman acts desperate" or "I don't want to be seen as "fast" or "loose" or "men are historically the hunters".
Duh! Wake up. REAL feminine women have been making moves on men for centuries. And these are not just "desperate" women, but women who have made history and changed the world: from Cleopatra to Catherine the Great to Mae West. Many, if not most, of these women were not "classical" beauties. Far more important were their wit, brains, empathy and self-sufficiency -- the opposite of neediness and desperation.
The real reason you don't make the first move is because you don't know how, you are afraid of rejection and you have very little confidence in yourself and your ability to get a guy hooked on you like a drug. So what do you do? You spend a fortune on the right clothes and the perfectly engineered body but come Saturday night, you find yourself sitting in a bar being pestered by some characterless drunk trying to prove himself as a player.
Or may be for years you are snuggling up with this guy hoping that he'll say "Baby, marry me", but all you get is a routine bonk when he is not out drinking with his friends. And before you know it, the guy has lost interest and you are sitting there blaming him for it (but secretly kicking yourself).
If you are waiting for men to always make the first move, I am telling you here TODAY, "you are going about this love thing all wrong". Just like women, REAL men are flattered and charmed when a woman makes a sweet courageous move but they also want it to be a woman who exudes a magnetic field, a wonderful swagger that comes with saying, "I LOVE THE PERSON I AM AND I KNOW YOU WILL TOO". Women who exude this energy are considered truly emotionally and sexually liberated and are treasures for men who themselves are emotionally and sexually liberated.
When it comes to your love life (or any other area of your life) you should be proactive. I am not suggesting that you walk up to a man and pinch him on the bottom or get all grabby. There is a finesse, an art to seducing him with your dignity intact. You can set yourself apart and get ahead by simply being that woman who is confident, sexy and seductive without making him feel like a wuss for not taking the lead.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com
Duh! Wake up. REAL feminine women have been making moves on men for centuries. And these are not just "desperate" women, but women who have made history and changed the world: from Cleopatra to Catherine the Great to Mae West. Many, if not most, of these women were not "classical" beauties. Far more important were their wit, brains, empathy and self-sufficiency -- the opposite of neediness and desperation.
The real reason you don't make the first move is because you don't know how, you are afraid of rejection and you have very little confidence in yourself and your ability to get a guy hooked on you like a drug. So what do you do? You spend a fortune on the right clothes and the perfectly engineered body but come Saturday night, you find yourself sitting in a bar being pestered by some characterless drunk trying to prove himself as a player.
Or may be for years you are snuggling up with this guy hoping that he'll say "Baby, marry me", but all you get is a routine bonk when he is not out drinking with his friends. And before you know it, the guy has lost interest and you are sitting there blaming him for it (but secretly kicking yourself).
If you are waiting for men to always make the first move, I am telling you here TODAY, "you are going about this love thing all wrong". Just like women, REAL men are flattered and charmed when a woman makes a sweet courageous move but they also want it to be a woman who exudes a magnetic field, a wonderful swagger that comes with saying, "I LOVE THE PERSON I AM AND I KNOW YOU WILL TOO". Women who exude this energy are considered truly emotionally and sexually liberated and are treasures for men who themselves are emotionally and sexually liberated.
When it comes to your love life (or any other area of your life) you should be proactive. I am not suggesting that you walk up to a man and pinch him on the bottom or get all grabby. There is a finesse, an art to seducing him with your dignity intact. You can set yourself apart and get ahead by simply being that woman who is confident, sexy and seductive without making him feel like a wuss for not taking the lead.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Christine, Excellent article! Dignified, confident women have indeed been making moves on men for centuries and your advice should be a wakeup call to thousands of women who want to take more control of their lives and destinies. If more women came out of their shells and approached men, it would take some of the guesswork out of relationships and whole "meet and greet" process. Thanks once again for sound advice! Have a great holiday weekend!Please log in to respond to this comment.Tell me about it! :-)). Have a great weekend, JosephPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Even better if he THINKS it is all his idea.Please log in to respond to this comment.I think that depends on the man. In my experience, a man secure in his own masculinity is actually fascinated by the knowledge that he was "caught' by some woman "smarter' than he is. And you can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. There is always that "Ah, I can't believe you're that good!" smile behind the eyes. In fact one of the most seductive things to say to a really confident man or woman is: “I am going to seduce you” (I write this in detail in my eBook). Telling someone you are going to seduce him or her is unusual, and will leave him or her open-mouthed (metaphorically) with disbelief. It arouses that person’s imagination, excites his or her curiosity, and holds the mind in languishing suspense. Poised between the yet unrealized pleasure and a fait accompli, the mind will want to know “What does this mean?” “How will this be accomplished?” “What is his or her next move?” “How will I feel?” “Will I enjoy it?” and “Will he or she be successful in seducing me?” Everything after that is their own mind doing the seduction. Even ordinary things like walking, eating or smiling will look like you are seducing him or her. Nothing is more powerful than someone’s own mind! But if you think he is not that secure about his masculinity then may be let him think it's his idea..:-). Only problem with that is that you can't openly be your true self (confident, sexy and seductive) because you're always playing some game with a hidden agenda.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I am falling in love with my friend, I believe the feeling is mutual. How do I get him to make the first move?Please log in to respond to this comment.
I'm a guy and I think that is true. One very clever woman once told me something I never realised about how to tell wether a guy likes a woman or not. She said that the guy who likes you is the one that will act stupid, weired (not like a jerk) and use mixed up sentences when he talks. Its not that he is not overall confidend (or stupid) but that the mere sight of you just makes his neurons fire out of sequence. He is just as afraid as you are and if you dont show a bit of interest in him because you are acting 'feminine' or just playing hard to get he will give up seeing that he is going nowhere with you. This girl is now my girlfriend en yes she did make the first move....I was the one acting weired around her.Please log in to respond to this comment.
i hear alot of women say they want a confident guy, i think the guy's confidence would grow if he wasnt single, or was asked out by the lady, and same goes for a woman she would most likely gain confidence when asked out, there are men and women out there that never make the first move because they have before to no avail.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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