What Women Wish Men Knew About Seducing Women
Posted: Sunday, August 26, 2007
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
So many men struggle with trying to figure out how to seduce women and find themselves running around in frustrating circles. The problem is that women won't tell men what they want -- or may be they tell them but being men they just don’t get it.
I’ll tell you the things women want as they’ve been telling me for over 10 years. Some of the things that have held them captivated and wildly attracted to the men who made them laugh and cry and FEEL, as the intense attraction built very, very slowly.
1. “Tease me, you devil. Intrigue me. Get me to forget my stress and worries even if only for a moment."
Women want men who can step outside of their boxes and are daring enough to take them on. They want men who can take them in, tease, intrigue, entice and make them experience new thoughts and feelings they’d never experienced before or thought they’d ever experience.
The purpose of teasing and enticing her is to, well, to compel her to action using titillation. There's an enormous difference between teasing for teasing's sake and a slow seduction of the senses, both emotional and physical. A touch of teasing that involves all of a woman’s senses dispels her nervousness and can make an awkward moment less awkward. However, keep your teasers short and sweet. Some examples of sweet and short teasers include: “Don't be absurd", “You can’t do that!" or a whispered endearment, "you're my weakness" or "you're strumming my heartstrings" etc.
Teasing as away of seducing can also heighten the sexual tension unbelievably and build anticipation when used to hint at an action without having to directly describe the action. For example: “I can take you down the boat later and show you!''
Pique her curiosity, tantalize her imagination, tap into her primal emotions until she can no longer deny her attraction to you. It is a fact that when things are going well, a woman’s temperature goes up.2. “Tell me what you're up to. What is this really all about?"
When it gets to this stage most men go ahead and undo everything they’ve worked hard to achieve up to this point by thinking “She’s having fun with me, so she must be digging me. It’s time to seal the deal". Pull-ease!
Rushing things is the worst thing a man can ever do. Moving with fast or speed seduction reveals just how inexperienced, incapable and less self-confident you are. Whatever you think in your mind a woman means whenever she says she wants things to go slower, take what you think is slower and multiply it by 10.
Now that you have the speed thing right, go back to the emotions. It’s always the emotions. Use words for the greatest emotional impact. For example: Instead of saying, "I enjoy photography," talk about the thrill you get when you capture that really great picture. If the conversation has crossed to the “sexual", instead of saying "Oh, I love sex," talk about how you feel when you are in the moment. Paint a clear emotional picture that allows her to put herself in the centre of it. Make her see what you see, hear what you hear, smell what you smell, and feel what you feel. You must convey all these thoughts and feelings and impressions to her with your word choices. Don’t be sleazy though, it gets kind of “yucky". It is all too easy to fall into the trap of using very graphic language with the emphasis on physical reaction rather than emotional reaction.
Take the time to breathe life into your words through the use of strong emotion verbs with a sort of “spiritual" or “heavenly" element to them. Words like: amazing, marvelous, mind--blowing, wonderful, incredible, extraordinary, unbelievable, fantastic, phenomenal, feel it in my spirit -- touch women so deeply and holistically (mind, body, emotions, and spirit).
If you can get her heartbeat accelerating, her stomach fluttering and her mind thinking "This couldn't possibly get any better, could it?" or “Now you want me!" you are half way there!
3. “Oh yeah? Prove that what you've just said is true. Show me."
Women want to be seduced but only so long as you deliver. By the time you progress to this level of seduction, most women have a good sense of what you’re up to and can see it coming, but at least they won't feel cheated.
Unfortunately this is the area most men miserably fall short. They make huge promises, but do not actually deliver. It’s just plain wrong, and insulting to raise someone’s expectations so high only to give miserable tokens as the reward for their wait.
Respect a women’s intelligence and they’ll respect you for it. If you make them wait and they find out that you are not delivering the payoff alluded to in the tease, they’ll resent you for it. Nothing pisses off a woman more than a man who doesn't deliver what he promised. Even if she doesn't say there's something missing, she’s thinking it. That's the thing about everything that touches on sexual emotions, even when it's great, there's still room for improvement--if not for you, then, just possibly, for her.
4. “Help me remember you and this moment. Nail it into my memory."
If you create a strong beginning with strong feelings, and a strong middle with layers of emotional depth, it only makes sense that the end be equally strong, right?
If you want the experience to stick out so that she doesn’t ever forget you, then do something that’ll burn into her memory. The most effective way to create a memory that will facilitate the consolidation of the attraction is to end from where you began. Seduce, entice, tease, make her experience new thoughts and feelings she’d never experienced before or thought she’d ever experience. Who knows, you may even be able to start a whole new session -- if you know what I mean.
Foreplay or afterplay -- to women -- the difference is a matter of semantics. And the sooner men get this, the better for everyone.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness e-Book and Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern e-Workbook. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
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