We Africans Have No Language For Talking About Sex
Posted: Saturday, November 22, 2008
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
"We have no language for talking about sex" is a common explanation many Africans give for not speaking up about HIV/AIDS. Language here is not just the question of whether to use a foreign or local dialect, but how to phrase concepts and what type of vocabulary to use.
The centrality of language in culture is a universally acknowledged fact, which needs little discussion here. Language is probably the most complex and creative aspect of human behaviour. It operates on many levels and with many functions simultaneously. It is a means of communicating knowledge but its also a means of establishing solidarity among people of the same family, community, culture, gender, education, profession or social group. Language can also be a vital tool for challenging ideas, and asking audiences to re-think long-standing assumptions and a particular way of thinking.
Generally Africans do not talk about sex directly in their native languages. Riddles and euphemisms are used in place of words that might be considered too direct, harsh, unpleasant, or offensive. Many Africans, I talk to find it easier to talk about HIV/AIDS in English, French or Portuguese but not in the language of their births or even other African languages. Almost all of them said "it's hard to say it out loud" without it sounding obscene and vulgar. Yet many feel that when AIDS awareness messages and materials are written in their languages of birth, "it really hits you" said one young woman, and "it's like it's in your face and your heart jumps" said another.
The centrality of language in culture is a universally acknowledged fact, which needs little discussion here. Language is probably the most complex and creative aspect of human behaviour. It operates on many levels and with many functions simultaneously. It is a means of communicating knowledge but its also a means of establishing solidarity among people of the same family, community, culture, gender, education, profession or social group. Language can also be a vital tool for challenging ideas, and asking audiences to re-think long-standing assumptions and a particular way of thinking.
In countries like Uganda, where there has been a significant fall in HIV infection rate, explicit sexual words translated in local languages were sometimes used in HIV/AIDS related campaigns, flyers and other educational materials for their shock value. But this was done in a culturally appropriate way that does not end up turning people off but awakening them to the reality -- HIV/AIDS was amongst them, in their own country, own villages and own homes.
Euphemisms offer Africans a comfortable way to start a conversation that would otherwise be uncomfortable. Rather than say "penis", words like rod, pestle, snake, whip etc are used. For "vagina", many Africans might use words like, gate, entrance, hole, honey pot or nest. An African man might also give his penis a clan name and then refer to it with this name when talking about it. An African woman on the other hand will refer to her sex-parts as "my twin sister" or "my wife", that way she can talk much more freely about it. Others prefer to give sexual parts words that have no particular meaning in their particular languages of birth. Words with repetitive vowels and consonants are most favoured for example, "bibi" or "bubu", "dada" or "dudu", "mimi" or "mumu", "kaka" or "kuku", "sisi" or "susu" etc. These words could mean something else in another African language but for the speaker, it's a comfortable way of saying what he or she can't say out loud.
Euphemisms imply there is an understood relationship that exists between the speaker and the listener. If this relationship does not exist, the message may be lost or misinterpreted. For example, to sleep with somebody means exactly what it would in English but among Africans this is a relatively classy way of referring to "have sex". You'd think that this would be problematic if you want to refer to sleeping without sex but most Africans can easily pick up the hidden meanings. Having sex can also be talked about as "laying down", "rolling out the mat", "engaging" one another, "to hug", "to embrace" or "to hold tight". And given that Africans are a huggy people who touch a lot, someone unfamiliar with the use of these words will not get the hidden meaning when someone says "let's hug", "I feel like embracing you" or "I'd like to hold you tight" which can also mean I'd like to have sex with you. "To touch" can also mean any form of questionable physical or sexual activity.
The actual meaning of a particular euphemism is not contained in the words used but in the co-occurrence of meanings and covers all hidden meanings encoded and decoded as unitary wholes of expressions. Like riddles, the appeal of euphemisms is their inner or hidden meaning whereby a speaker will use a particular euphemism in one way to denote one meaning and the same euphemism to denote another meaning but within the same context. For example, in English we say "x had sex with y". The African way would be x and y "did" each other. The implied meaning lies in conception that a man "does" a woman and a woman is "done" by the man. Where a woman "does" a man, the assumption is that the woman came onto the man overpowering him most likely through sexual seduction. And saying that a man "is done" means he is in some way under the power of feminine seductive influence. As it is in many African cultures gendered adjective-nouns have to do with the man being "the giver" and the woman "the receiver."
This co-occurrence of meanings and hidden meanings is also a direct reflection of the speaker's personal attitude or feelings towards the subject or the target of the utterance. Euphemisms that make reference to negative attributes imply that the speaker has a negative opinion of the subject, the part of the human body or personality. Saying that two people were "doing" each other like dogs, pigs or thieves means that the speaker deliberately wants to ridicule or insult the target of the utterance. The hidden meaning here is that dogs "do it" out of a biological necessity, pigs "do it" with no regard for decency or each other. Thieves, on the other hand "do it" in socially unacceptable circumstances like cheating spouses or young people not supposed to engage is penetrative sex.
Then there is the factor of the speaker's emotional state at the time he or she made the statement. Under different circumstances "doing" each other like dogs, pigs or thieves can be flattery or positive exaggeration especially if uttered with intention to portray the target of the utterance in an attractive manner. "Doing it" like dogs could also mean going at it with great passion. "Doing it" like pigs on the other hand could imply physical strength and endurance. "Doing it" like thieves may mean that two people are so sexually attracted to each other that they steal every moment to engage in sexual intercourse. Another way of doing it like a thief is when one partner successfully has sexual intercourse while the other is asleep. Usually this is done with prior consent or when one partner dares the other to "steal his or her snore".
Because language, words and phrases are derived from actual contact with a given culture, social class and the general real-life experience of a speaker or group of speakers, they may have little information value in verbal interactions with people unfamiliar with them.
And it is precisely because of this that many in the international development community and at the forefront of the fight against HIV/AIDS argue that African languages are not suited for science and technology because African languages have multiple meanings. What these arguments ignore is the fact that no language is created as a language of science and technology, rather a language develops through application of conscious effort and the input of necessary resources. With a little bit more resources, African languages can be made for use in inquiry and understanding the validity of common concepts in African cultures. I believe this is possible and workable.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is a Cross Cultural Relations Consultant with experience in cross-cultural negotiations, problem-solving, team-building, project design, project management, project evaluation and monitoring. She has held Program Coordination and Program Management positions with diplomatic missions and international aid agencies including the British High Commission, Canadian International Development Agency and UNICEF Canada. She has also worked in Public Relations with European Union funded programme and done consulting work with IMF/World Bank and World Health Organization affiliated initiatives, as well as many Non-Government Organizations in and outside Africa. Christine is also an internationally renowned Dating and Relationships Coach, Motivational Speaker, AIDS Activist and Youth HIV/AIDS Educator. She currently lives in Toronto, Canada.
Euphemisms offer Africans a comfortable way to start a conversation that would otherwise be uncomfortable. Rather than say "penis", words like rod, pestle, snake, whip etc are used. For "vagina", many Africans might use words like, gate, entrance, hole, honey pot or nest. An African man might also give his penis a clan name and then refer to it with this name when talking about it. An African woman on the other hand will refer to her sex-parts as "my twin sister" or "my wife", that way she can talk much more freely about it. Others prefer to give sexual parts words that have no particular meaning in their particular languages of birth. Words with repetitive vowels and consonants are most favoured for example, "bibi" or "bubu", "dada" or "dudu", "mimi" or "mumu", "kaka" or "kuku", "sisi" or "susu" etc. These words could mean something else in another African language but for the speaker, it's a comfortable way of saying what he or she can't say out loud.
Euphemisms imply there is an understood relationship that exists between the speaker and the listener. If this relationship does not exist, the message may be lost or misinterpreted. For example, to sleep with somebody means exactly what it would in English but among Africans this is a relatively classy way of referring to "have sex". You'd think that this would be problematic if you want to refer to sleeping without sex but most Africans can easily pick up the hidden meanings. Having sex can also be talked about as "laying down", "rolling out the mat", "engaging" one another, "to hug", "to embrace" or "to hold tight". And given that Africans are a huggy people who touch a lot, someone unfamiliar with the use of these words will not get the hidden meaning when someone says "let's hug", "I feel like embracing you" or "I'd like to hold you tight" which can also mean I'd like to have sex with you. "To touch" can also mean any form of questionable physical or sexual activity.
The actual meaning of a particular euphemism is not contained in the words used but in the co-occurrence of meanings and covers all hidden meanings encoded and decoded as unitary wholes of expressions. Like riddles, the appeal of euphemisms is their inner or hidden meaning whereby a speaker will use a particular euphemism in one way to denote one meaning and the same euphemism to denote another meaning but within the same context. For example, in English we say "x had sex with y". The African way would be x and y "did" each other. The implied meaning lies in conception that a man "does" a woman and a woman is "done" by the man. Where a woman "does" a man, the assumption is that the woman came onto the man overpowering him most likely through sexual seduction. And saying that a man "is done" means he is in some way under the power of feminine seductive influence. As it is in many African cultures gendered adjective-nouns have to do with the man being "the giver" and the woman "the receiver."
This co-occurrence of meanings and hidden meanings is also a direct reflection of the speaker's personal attitude or feelings towards the subject or the target of the utterance. Euphemisms that make reference to negative attributes imply that the speaker has a negative opinion of the subject, the part of the human body or personality. Saying that two people were "doing" each other like dogs, pigs or thieves means that the speaker deliberately wants to ridicule or insult the target of the utterance. The hidden meaning here is that dogs "do it" out of a biological necessity, pigs "do it" with no regard for decency or each other. Thieves, on the other hand "do it" in socially unacceptable circumstances like cheating spouses or young people not supposed to engage is penetrative sex.
Then there is the factor of the speaker's emotional state at the time he or she made the statement. Under different circumstances "doing" each other like dogs, pigs or thieves can be flattery or positive exaggeration especially if uttered with intention to portray the target of the utterance in an attractive manner. "Doing it" like dogs could also mean going at it with great passion. "Doing it" like pigs on the other hand could imply physical strength and endurance. "Doing it" like thieves may mean that two people are so sexually attracted to each other that they steal every moment to engage in sexual intercourse. Another way of doing it like a thief is when one partner successfully has sexual intercourse while the other is asleep. Usually this is done with prior consent or when one partner dares the other to "steal his or her snore".
Because language, words and phrases are derived from actual contact with a given culture, social class and the general real-life experience of a speaker or group of speakers, they may have little information value in verbal interactions with people unfamiliar with them.
And it is precisely because of this that many in the international development community and at the forefront of the fight against HIV/AIDS argue that African languages are not suited for science and technology because African languages have multiple meanings. What these arguments ignore is the fact that no language is created as a language of science and technology, rather a language develops through application of conscious effort and the input of necessary resources. With a little bit more resources, African languages can be made for use in inquiry and understanding the validity of common concepts in African cultures. I believe this is possible and workable.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is a Cross Cultural Relations Consultant with experience in cross-cultural negotiations, problem-solving, team-building, project design, project management, project evaluation and monitoring. She has held Program Coordination and Program Management positions with diplomatic missions and international aid agencies including the British High Commission, Canadian International Development Agency and UNICEF Canada. She has also worked in Public Relations with European Union funded programme and done consulting work with IMF/World Bank and World Health Organization affiliated initiatives, as well as many Non-Government Organizations in and outside Africa. Christine is also an internationally renowned Dating and Relationships Coach, Motivational Speaker, AIDS Activist and Youth HIV/AIDS Educator. She currently lives in Toronto, Canada.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Christine, thank you for the education. I couldn't agree with you more with this statement: "...no language is created as a language of science and technology, rather a language develops through application of conscious effort and the input of necessary resources."
Resources are found and used to interpret the language of dolphins, species of monkeys, etc. The desire to end the HIV/AIDS epidemic in African villages must be present for those in power to perfect communications with human beings who are infecting their young, others and those who are being killed by the virus/disease. Any excuse will be used not to do the right thing but that isn't acceptable.
I commend you on your fight. I have committed to applying for a grant that will go to a village in Kenya. With the new administration and my own time constraints, I am not sure what will happen but it is worth the work involved. I am networking via emails with a young African man who is doing research for me on his end. Since I write grants for my project, the $ available for AIDS education and treatment and homes for orphans caught my attention. Wouldn't you know my other site put me in connection with this young man?
There is so much to be done. Thank you for an informative article, Christine. I knew a bit about what you wrote but just a bit. I'm learning more and more. I enjoy learning and having a knowledgeable teacher is the first step. :-)
Happy weekend!
AvisPlease log in to respond to this comment.Avis, it’s interesting how you and I always seem to end up in the same place. I knew you were involved with GeoAvis’ Home, and now I find out that you are also involved in AIDS in Africa. I pray that things work out on this other commitment for a grant for a village in Kenya.HIV/AIDS in Africa is complex. You rightly pointed out the issue of resources and good will. There is significant “donor aid” and significant work done in terms of safe testing, prevention, and treatments. But one of the biggest obstacles is the gap between those who have the money (the West) and those who have the disease (Africans). If this disease can ever be defeated both sides have to change their attitudes.Thank you for the comment - and yet again reminding me just how connected we are. I am smiling ear to ear thinking of myself as your “teacher’. That, my friend, is a tall order... :-)Have a great weekend.Please log in to respond to this comment.Christine, I feel we have a kindred spirit. I know we share a kinship as sisters in Christ so the connection is there. I like it. :-)
About the Home, it is named after and in honor of my parents. My father was George (Geo) and my mother was Viola (Vi). . . so it's GeoVi's, although I like the GeoAvis too, it's for them.
Please, keep the projects in your prayers. I will do likewise for yours.
And you're tall enough! ;-)
Hugs,
AvisPlease log in to respond to this comment.Oops! GeoVi’s Home, I get it. Now I know your parents’ names, I‘ll not get it wrong again..:-). I think it’s so cool that you named this home after your parents. Most people would want it to be about them (may that is why I assumed), but this is great. I see inspiration here for me…I like the Christ connection too. It’s sometimes possible to know in our heads that this connection exists but not feel it in our hearts. We know and we feel. That’s a good thing!I can do with a few more inches of height --Thanks … :-)Please log in to respond to this comment.
I will have to reread this several times I think, because I've read it twice and found more in it each time.I am not sure I get the "doing it" part. The man "doing" the woman seems to my ears like the man is dominating the woman. If x and y do each other that seems more mutual. I have testosterone poisoning, like most men, (although at my age the poison is diminished) but I have always been bothered by the denigration of women, and the attitude that women are life support systems for their private parts. I try to see women the same as men, the look different, but it is more like the shape of a nose, or eye color. We are both humans, and while I have sexual desires, I can only assume that women have sexual desires too. We are humans. And if we have sex, it ought to be mutual.As for the AIDS it is clear you have much more experience than I. I work for Child Welfare and deal with families where children have been abused or neglected.I had a case where a woman had AIDS and was in the hospital, not expected to live, her husband was "slow" and the children had been placed with the maternal grandmother. In my visits I discovered that the little boy had become a target for physical abuse by that grandmother.The grandmother actually ended up getting some jail time. The bio-mother got better and the children were returned to her. I visited with the mom and kids several times before leaving that state to take up the job here in Oklahoma.I got a call that the mother had finally died from her illness.I am concerned that our drug companies would spend millions developing and advertising a drug that gives men erections and yet makes it difficult for AIDS victims in Africa and other disadvantaged countries from having access to the drugs in the amounts needed at a minimum of cost.Please log in to respond to this comment.Tex,Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I wrote the article after a heated meeting with a group of "people with the money” and I guess I poured all the frustration in the article -- sorry you had to read it twice.. :-)Reading your experience helps, especially because it comes from another person who understands first hand the devastating effects of this epidemic. Children end up those hurt most. What gets to me is that they didn’t ask for it or consent to two adults “doing it”.I also share your concerns regarding drug companies, but I am not holding my breath. Africans like me working to fight this disease are not focusing on drugs but on what “we” can do for ourselves. This is what helped bring the infection rate down in my country of Uganda.I personally do not believe that the way to beat this disease will come from the West. It's going to have to come from post-colonial Africa re-defining itself and it's reality. Much of the research on sexuality on post-colonial Africa shows that African cultures that abandoned almost all of their African ways preferring Western ways (including Christianity) are the ones where there is so much more women abuse, child abuse, sex before marriage, sexual immaturity, sexual anxiety and marital dissatisfaction, divorce, rape, and all the sexual "evils". They are also cultures and peoples most affected by HIV/AIDS. That says LOT!As for "doing it" part, I can see why to your ears, the man "doing" the woman would seem like the man is dominating the woman. That is the case in many matriarchal cultures in Africa and in other parts of the world. But Africa also has many matriarchal cultures. In these cultures, the women call the shots and run the show -- and in some matriarchal cultures women marry more than one man. It’s not uncommon to hear an African woman tell her husband, “My man, I want you to come and do me!” and the man has no choice because he will either be refused food or in some cases beat up by the wife (these women are physically strong, too). Many “foreigners” who visit these parts of Africa (and have an open mind), say it’s sometimes like stepping into another dimension. So even if it's the man "doing it" to the woman, sometimes, the woman is actually dominating the man.Sorry, I get carried away on anything HIV/AIDS and Africa. It's a topic so dear to my very soul.Once again thanks for the comment.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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