Sexual Magnetism, Seductive Aura -- And The Men And Women Who Have It
Posted: Sunday, March 15, 2009
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
It was a good party; the music was great, food excellent and the crowd "classy". Just a little over an hour into the party, I noticed that everyone was gravitating towards one corner of the room. I could not immediately see what was happening from where we were sitting, so I got up to go take a look.
Two women, one a white blonde and the other black were on the dance floor doing their thing and standing around were what looked like all the good looking men at the party, except mine of course, who was sitting in another corner animatedly talking and laughing - he's got me what can I say.
Anyways, these two women were obviously enjoying themselves and having the time of their lives. But what I found quite interesting was that both women were what society calls "plus size" and not exactly "plus size" model type either. They were two average looking women laughing and graciously flirting with the male moths light-struck in their glow. They were getting all the male attention from the men we would typically think wouldn't be attracted to women their size especially when there were many other petite good-looking women in the room.
What was their secret? Two words - SEXUAL MAGNETISM
Whether you know it or not, admit it or not, the way you see yourself sexually affects every aspect of your life. It affects how you walk on the street, how you talk to your boss, how you respond to stress, how you relate to others and even how you pursue success.
People with a poor sexual self-image tend to overcompensate in those areas they are more confident in. They are on a constant drive for accomplishment and external approval. They often try to belittle or down play their sexual expectations and have a tendency to resist acknowledging or expressing their feelings, emotions and desires. The extroverted ones over project and exaggerate their sexual desirability. They try to assert themselves and their presence by doing everything in "larger than life" style. But their "macho" or "sexy" self-image is the opposite of what is happening on the outside.
People blessed with enormous charm and sexual charisma on the other hand don't flaunt it with low necklines or ass-hugging jeans. They may not even have a charismatic personality or bubbly effervescent charm and are not necessarily seducers but everywhere they go both men and women fall under the spell of their seductive aura. They attract the opposite sex like bees to honey. It is simply hard to resist getting a discreet glance and sometimes we don't even know why. These people don't seem to age and race has no bearing on the power of their magnetism. They kind of command attention, affection and respect without asking for it. They look like they are truly having the time of their lives.
So what is this mystical thing we call sexual magnetism?
Sexual magnetism is often confused with "sexy' or the "exotic" - whatever these words mean - and because of that, many think it is something you do, something you buy with money, something a sexual partner gives you or even something you get from travel to some 'exotic" part of the world.
Sexual magnetism is not about a perfect body, bigger boobs or bigger male organ. If you do not believe me, tell someone who thinks they have big boobs or big organ that you do not think it is that big anyway and watch their self-image take a downward dive. Not to mention that there are some men and women who are less-endowed in the looks department but ooze sexual magnetism.
Sexual magnetism is not about what you wear or the kind of car you drive. Wearing a secret little number underneath your clothes or driving a sleek car can help boost your sexual confidence but only when you already have it. Take away the lingerie (eventually you have to take it off anyway) or the car and all that is left is the same inadequate insecure small self.
Sexual magnetism is not something you get in Mexico, Thailand or on an African Safari. I know some of you are thinking who are you kidding, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got their "African juju". You can go to these "exotic" places with an uptight, single-minded and sex repressed attitude and return even more confused and paranoid because the "sexual openness" you found there will have rattled your beliefs about sexuality and sex.
Sexual magnetism is not about learning sex techniques or bedroom tricks - although knowing what to do in the bedroom just like lingerie or sports car can boost your sexual confidence - it is not what sexual magnetism is all about . Sexual magnetism is not even necessarily about sex. The physical expression of sexuality through sex is a part of the expression of something bigger and more powerful.
Sexual magnetism is more than sex appeal. People with great looks, incredible talent, immense power, extreme wealth, above average intelligence and even the notorious "bad boys" can all have sex appeal but they are not necessarily sexually confident and do not necessarily have sexual magnetism.
Sexuality is about overall feelings of wellbeing. From the time we are born to the time we die, we are sexual beings with sexual bodies whether or not we are engaged in a sexual act or behaviour. Sexuality is a natural, healthy, life-long part of being human. It is an integral and powerful influence on our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Sexual magnetism is about being comfortable in your own sexual body and sexual role. It is the dynamic, free and spontaneous response of your own inner man or woman. It is about power, and that power comes from knowing who you really are, what's right for you and what you can bring to any encounter whether it be sexual, social or business.
Sexual magnetism is about being sexually comfortable around others -- and the opposite sex. It is about walking into any situation knowing that you 'rock", voicing your opinion (even if different) knowing that it will be highly valued by others, asking for what you want without fear of rejection or failure.
Sexual magnetism is about truly letting go off sexual shame, guilt and repression and experiencing life fully - body, mind and spirit, moment to moment. A rigid, tense or inflexible body is probably the greatest give away of sexual shame, guilt and uptightness.
Sexual charisma is like a MAGNET. If you have it, you naturally draw people to you.
So how does one get sexual charisma? Sexual charisma is like a MAGNET. If you have it, you naturally draw people to you.
Develop a sex-positive attitude
Unlearn your guilt about your sexual body and sexual desires. Give yourself the permission to really celebrate what you have inside of yourself and develop the emotional and social skills you need to be able to share your real self with your sexual partner and with the rest of the world.
Know your sexual body
The greatest knowledge you can have when it comes to sexuality is how your body responds to its sexual, social or business environment. If you've been living in your head, get back into your body and fully inhabit it. It is not what the body can do for you but what you can do with the body that gives you the sexual magnetism you long for.
Develop your own individual style
Your sexual magnetism is a unique, individualized expression of self. Knowing that you're uniquely and wonderfully created is saying, "I like who I am and I know you will like me too". This is the kind of attitude that gets people all excited just thinking of talking to you or getting to see you again.
Be spontaneous and unpredictable
Spontaneity and unpredictability are the soul of sexual charisma and it's what keeps other people fascinated by you. Work on developing spontaneity in your emotional manifestations by taking actions in each moment that are driven by your inner awareness. Let go of contriving, scheming, pretense and living in self-distrust. Tap into your subconscious and set your imagination free. Let your hair down and discover your wild side.
Learn to enjoy life
Many of us are too rushed to enjoy life, too confused to be simple, too rich to have enough, too worried to be healthy, too ungrateful to be happy, too afraid to love, and too controlling to be free (see my article: "The 7 Afflictions of Modern Society"). Your sexual magnetism depends on your ability to let go and be in the moment. But in order to enjoy the moment you have to learn to appreciate it. Develop an attitude of thankfulness in spite and despite of your current circumstances.
Become interested in other people
Sexual magnetism is not about a superior attitude or blowing your own horn, it is about listening and making other people comfortable talking about themselves. Work on being someone who is interested rather than worry about being interesting.
Surround yourself with good friends
There are few things in this world that can make you feel like a million bucks - a good friend is one of those things. A good friend is that person who gives you the courage and strength to get out there and conquer the world. Cultivate lots of different friendships with both men and women - especially single ones. Having lots of friends of the opposite sex is a great way to learn about the opposite sex, it's better than anything you read in books which is only other people's opinions.
Enhance your spiritual awareness
The journey towards your sexual embodiment is also the journey towards your spiritual enlightenment. Sexuality and Spirituality are inseparable. Do not concentrate on developing one and ignore the other. When you neglect one, the other will be distorted.
Begin vibrating this powerful magnetic energy and watch how people suddenly begin noticing and gravitating towards you - without you even trying!.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Dating Confidence/Relationships Coach who has devoted her life to the blending of indispensable age-old wisdom with modern realities into a prescription for passion, vitality, balance and effortlessness. Her thought-provoking message of conscious intentionality offers singles new, realistic and stimulating insights to rediscovering the mysteries and eternal beauty of men - women sexual relationships.
Christine's main website: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Hi Christine.This is a very insightful and beautifully written article.Thanks for sharing your wisdom,DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.Thank you Dianne, I am glad you thought the write was “very insightful” …:-). I sincerely appreciate the time you take to read and leave a comment on my articles. Thank you!Please log in to respond to this comment.
Yes your article was fantastic. It helped me learn what I didn't know before. If you have an email address may I contact you with further questions.Thank you.DavidPlease log in to respond to this comment.I like “fantastic”…:-)Thank you for the comment, David. Please click on the link to my website which has a suggestion /question form under the contact button. There are also plenty of similar articles under “Articles” button. You may even find some of the answers to your questions just reading some of the articles.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Yes, I'm glad someone has finally noticed my attributes. Just kidding but you make some very good points.Please log in to respond to this comment.OMG, Robert! How did you figure out I had you in mind when I wrote the article? :-)You have an interesting way of surprising me with a comment when I least expect it. I appreciate your time and comment!!! Thank you...:-)Please log in to respond to this comment.
Great article Christine, I never knew I had Sexual Magnetism, but wa-la, there it is. hahaha, Seriously though, I found this very interesting, and due to the fact that these women that were struttin' their stuff, we full bodied women, tells me it's not what you've got, but how you use it, and when....would that be an accurate assumption. I know that lots of gals find that "tough guys" , and cowboys as having sexual magnetism, but not all do of course, as you pointed out, and some of these guys and gals that "Think" they have it don't. It's a good point, and I agree totally with your article in its entirety, and glad that you explained it in the terminology that I can understand. So, to that end....I found this to be very interesting and full of good information for those of us who are trying to figure out if we have it or not. Great article, and great information....thanks for sharing it with us....(personally I find butts to be sexual magnets) hahahha, I had to throw that in there!!!! Great work seriously, You fan, and friend in pen.......GaryPlease log in to respond to this comment.Gary, I think that your magnetism is well established here on Searchwarp… hands down! I’ve never actually met a real cowboy in real life, so I don’t know if it’s a cowboy thing or it’s just a Gary thing…:-) I just know you got the charm.And you’re so right on “it's not what you've got, but how you use it, and when”. Its’ all about "the energy"....I read it somewhere that there are scientists doing studies on people who have this aura or energy in very high doses. Using an Aura Scanner, they can actually measure the aura energy (watt, voltage, and ohm). It’d be interesting to see what they’d come up with on Barack Hussein Obama. This guy not only has personal magnetism and strong sex appeal, his seductive aura is off the charts!!! Men and women alike faint on this guy…LOLAs usual, thank you for your thought provoking comment.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Oh My Word !!! I cant beleive this is actually on the intenet ...... i mean seriously this is, i just dnt have words to express myself but u can be sure i have a huge party going on in my brain right now i have been searching this for very long because i had it, i knew i had it, but then i lost it so bad that i dnt know how i survivied up till now Christine you are a chosen one and thats the only thing i have to say about your miracle that you wrote.Now i see that you can help me i am 23 yrs old and nt str8 is there any advice you can help me with???? . . . . . . . . because its completely different than normal in a million different ways and on levels plz help me i really need it . . . . . . . . .Please log in to respond to this comment.
(SORRY I JUST COULD NOT BEAR THE FACT THAT I HAD SPELLING MISTAKES ON THE PREVIOUS ONE :-)
Oh My Word !!! I cant believe this is actually on the internet ...... i mean seriously this is, I just don't have words to express myself but u can be sure I have a huge party going on in my brain right now I have been searching this for very long because I had it, I knew I had it, but then I lost it so bad that I don't know how I survived up till now Christine you are a chosen one and thats the only thing I have to say about your miracle that you wrote.Now I see that you can help me I am 23 yrs old and not straight is there any advice you can help me with???? . . . . . . . . because its completely different than normal in a million different ways and on levels plz help me I really need it . . . . . . . . .Please log in to respond to this comment.
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