Cross Cultural Communication - Dos and Don'ts That Help Reduce The Effects of Culture Shock
Posted: Wednesday, April 01, 2009
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
If it's your first time visiting, volunteering or working in an African country, you must be quite excited about what the new experience will bring, which of your actions might open doors and which might close them.
Communicating with people from different cultures can be both exciting and confusing. It's exciting because we can learn new things about other people and other cultures. Learning about other cultures often gives us a new perspective on our own culture.
GREETING
-- Greeting is very important. An African will feel deeply hurt if you pass by without greeting him or her. It is seen as a refusal to acknowledge one's humanity. It's the same as verbally saying, "You don't exisit".
-- It is usual for two strangers walking past each other to make eye contact, smile and perhaps say "Hi!", "Good Morning" or even "Where are you going".
-- Manner of greeting differs from culture to culture and includes bowing, shaking hands, touching elbow, kiss on the cheek, clapping, standing up, kneeling down, sitting down or taking off hats or shoes.
-- The right-hand handshake is common in business and social encounters. Shake hands with everyone individually when being introduced and when departing.
-- Always wait to be introduced to strangers. Unaccompanied women are usually greeted first. When a couple, the man is greeted first. In some cultures, women from the royal bloodline (and queens), women of power and authority or high social status are addressed in the masculine (e.g. Sir).
-- Senior persons are greeted first. The junior (by age, authority or social status) greets the senior person. Elders, executives and leaders are addressed by their position, level of responsibility or profession (chief, deputy minister, teacher or mother etc.)
-- When Africans encounter you later that same day, they will usually greet again and again and again.. The assumption is that things do happen between then and now. Someone who was well before may now have a headache or may have had some unexpected good news or even remembered something.
EYE CONTACT
-- Direct eye contact for more than a few seconds in many African cultures is considered rude, invading, confrontational and disrespectful, unless verbally invited to do so.
-- Invitation to "look in my eyes" is an indication that one wants to speak candidly and can also be an invitation to be vulnerable and/or emotionally intimate.
-- Prolonged and intense eye contact often signifies sexual interest between two strangers of the opposite sex and aggression or confrontation between two strangers of the same sex. The most important cue is in subsequent behaviour following eye contact. Looking up above the head or down at the feet immediately following extended eye contact may signal that the person isn't too pleased with the intimacy that just happened. Looking sideways or down with a smile is usually an invitation to get to know each other better.
COMMON COURTESIES
-- Giving cash is normal for ceremonies like weddings and funerals.
-- To show your gratitude and respect when giving or receiving anything, use both of your hands.
-- It's common for Africans to belittle the value of their gift or food when they offer it, but don't repeat what they have said even if it's blatantly true.
-- In more formal situations, it's impolite to unwrap a gift someone brings you as soon as you receive it. In casual surroundings it's normal to ask the giver if it can be opened now.
-- Bargaining before a sale is tradition. Sometimes it's not even about the sale or price but an opportunity to get acquainted, test each other's temperament and share laughter. If you excel in all these areas, don't be surprised when you leave with the item you bought at less than half the initial price -- and a friend for life.
-- It's expected of you to take off your shoes at the door before entering your host's house. Most African hosts will turn a visitor's shoes around and put them together so they can put them on easily when leaving. So don't be shocked or become suspicious when you find your shoes not the way you left them.
-- It's customary and polite to see a guest to the door, front of a building, to their car or bus stop when they leave. It's even more polite to wait until they are safely out of your site (and out of your responsibility).
-- Music and dance depends on the mood. It's considered impolite and rude to turn down an invitation to dance. Only sad, depressed and angry people turn down an opportunity to dance. They are not particularly considered good company.
SOCIAL TABOOS
-- Most African foods are eaten with the fingers. It's taboo to use your left hand to eat your food. The left hand is for toilet manners. If you are left-handed, it's best to inform your host before starting to eat.
-- The head is sacred. You may touch the head of a child as a symbol of blessing but never touch the head of an adult or pass an object over it.
-- Never point the bottoms of the feet in the direction of another person especially an elder or person of authority. Any man or woman 10 - 15 years older than you is automatically an elder by age status.
-- It's commonly taboo to sit on the African drum or spit on it.
EYE - BALL POPPERS
-- Africans don't mind jostling each other on buses and trains. Don't be shocked to see one person sitting on another's lap, both strangers to each other. They don't find such cramped contact threatening or hostile.
-- African men think nothing of giving each other a hearty hug when they meet. Holding hands while walking, arm around shoulders or arm around waist between people of same sex and opposite sex siblings is common.
-- Africans generally consider breasts as purely functional and as a result naked chests are very common especially in the rural areas. Women showing thighs on the other hand is frowned upon except when you are doing something manual like working in the garden or riding a bike, and when you are in your own compound, which is considered your own private kingdom.
I'll try to keep this article short and sweet. While these tips don't make everything perfect when you get there, you're not so shocked. You will see things that would have seemed like a "crisis" or frustration as simply a different way of knowing, feeling and doing things. But best of all, you will be able to take full advantage of your time in the land of the ancients.
It is important to remember that making mistakes is all part of the learning process. A few small mistakes early on can be the best thing to prevent one really big mistake in the future. Keep smiling and try to look for the funny side of some of the strange things going on around you - that's the African way. A smile and warm disposition will open doors that are otherwise closed to many.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is a Cross Cultural Relations Consultant with experience in cross-cultural negotiations, problem-solving, team-building, project design, project management, project evaluation and monitoring. She has held Program Coordination and Program Management positions with diplomatic missions and international aid agencies including the British High Commission, Canadian International Development Agency and UNICEF Canada. She has also worked in Public Relations with European Union funded programme and done consulting work with IMF/World Bank and World Health Organization affiliated initiatives, as well as many Non-Government Organizations in and outside Africa. Christine is also an internationally renowned Dating and Relationships Coach, Motivational Speaker, AIDS Activist and Youth HIV/AIDS Educator. She currently lives in Toronto, Canada.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Hi! Enjoyed the article. I have never been to Africa or Asia, but I have lived in Europe for six years. I was appalled at the manner in which many Americans acted in Europe. I cannot count the number of times I was greeted with an uncertain demeanor until the people realized that I was trying to act properly in "their" country. I have actually heard an American couple in a train at the Munich train station complaining because the Germans did not speak English! As a GI in Europe, I found that the ones who enjoyed their tours of duty the most, spouses and soldiers, were those who were willing to get out and join the people, learn how they did things, and learn at least a few words of the language. Those who did not sat around and complained to one another how much they disliked the German people and the country. By the way, I also learned to tip my hat when passing strangers and say "Guten Tag" or "Gruss Gott", which usually earned me a smile and a reply. - DonPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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