A Return To Love
Posted: Tuesday, May 12, 2009
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate
But that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God
Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were born to manifest the glory of God within us
It is not just in some; it is in everyone
And, as we let our own light shine
We consciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our fear our presence automatically liberates others
I first heard these words on Nelson Mandela's inauguration day in May 10th, 1994. I cut the words out of a newspaper on which the speech was written and carried them with me everywhere. At the time I thought Nelson Mandela wrote these words. About three years ago I heard on Oprah Show that these words were written by Marianne Williamson in her book A Return To Love published in 1992.
Whether you like Ms. Williamson or not, you'll agree with me that this is an uplifting piece of writing. However, I've found that trying to live out my light/greatness is not easy, never easy. Sometimes as a result of my own fault and other times, out of no fault of my own.
Common sense (or intuition, whatever it is) tells us that we need other human beings for our survival. That we can't grow as human beings cut off and isolated from others. But reality also says that in order to belong we sometimes have to "shrink ourselves" so that others welcome and accept us into ther circles, communities or even countries. People generally do not like being around people who go around thinking that they are brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous.
For many years, I "shrank myself" -- spoke up less, never questioned anything, never offered my opinion on anything especially if it was controversial, and avoided people who did all of the above. I had many "friends" and got invited to every kind of party. There was even a saying among my social cirlces, "It ain't a party until Akiteng arrives". I was the social "bomb" (to borrow the word) and I didn't even drink alcohol or use drugs. Just natural charm and love for all people. Religion, race, class, education etc. didn't make a difference for me.
On my own though, I felt fake, empty, superficial, cowardly, a walk-over-- all those things. The truest and most authentic part of me knew that I was so much more than that; and that my "social skills" and love for people could be put to better use.
One day I decided that was not how I was going down (to the grave). If I was going to stand before God and give an account of all I'd DONE, "Lord I was fake, superficial, a coward, a walk-over... because I did not want to make other people feel insecure around me" wasn't going to get me a heavely ovation.
I started speaking up more often, questioning some things I could never have dared to before, offering my opinion even though I knew it might not be received well by everybody and studying the lives of some of the most controversial men and women who had made good of their lives.
To cut the long story short, I lost most of my "social friends" but gained a few "true friends" who are equally brilliant, gorgeous, handsome/beautiful, talented and fabulous.
I feel like I have returned to love. I am not as self-absorbed anymore and more focused on what is it that I can do for others not what is it others can do for me. I feel liberated living in my light and not living frightened of my own darkness. There is truly nothing enlightened about playing small or shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around me.
I'm still discovering more and more of just how truly brilliant, gorgeous, beautiful, talented and fabulous I am -- just because I am a child of God.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)You have to be 'true to yourself' and feel free to be who you are, which is what I think you discovered Christine. God wants us to be the best we can be, and we should strive to do that. True friends accept you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. Great article!Please log in to respond to this comment.I agree with you Brianna. A return to love is really about being “true to yourself”. Over the years, I've found that the phrase though commonly used means different things to different people. For me being true to myself is being TRUE FOR OTHERS. Like I said to Suzy above, my only regrets are the times I was being “true to my selfish nature” and concerned about ME and less about others. I am trying to make up for lost time… Hopefully I don’t get called up soon to give an account….not much DONE yet… :-)Thank you for your comment.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I must admit I haven't read your articles because I thought they were all about dating. To my shame!This is a wonderful piece. I have felt these same stirrings for some time, that I should not be ashamed becuse I have some intelligence, or a recluse because I have some skills.Thank you, Christine.Awesome stuff.Please log in to respond to this comment.Hi Ken, this is a pleasant surprise… :-)I can relate to the stirrings. We the brilliant, gorgeous, handsome/beautiful, talented and fabulous shouldn’t hide our candles under bushels. It’s a shame going down the grave with all that intelligence and skills unused. I am happy for you… it’s a great place to be. Not easy but great…:-)I appreciate the comment and kind words. Awesome!Please log in to respond to this comment.
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