The Wrong Bus Syndrome - Wrong Driver, Wrong Direction, Wrong Mindset
Posted: Friday, July 31, 2009
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
The "Wrong Bus Syndrome" is commonly associated with Wangari Maathai Wangari, 2004 Nobel Peace Prize Winner. She used this analogy to draw attention to how too often we head in the wrong direction or travel on the wrong path, allow others (often people we perceive to have authority on a subject) to tell us half truth or made up truth. Even when we know we're being misled further and further away from our desired destination we remain seated -- in the wrong bus.
1. Ignorance -- You do not know how to read the signs or you asked for directions but was misled by someone else who also does not know how to read the signs
2. Naivety -- You think there is only one direction (whatever direction the bus is going)
3. Fear -- You are too afraid to ask for directions because you do not want to disturb other people's peace or hurt their feelings (by making them aware of the fact that they too are sitting in the wrong bus).
4. Pride -- You are too proud to ask for directions. You find an inquisitive mind embarrassing and asking questions of strangers stupid
5. Pack mentality -- Everyone else was getting in the bus and you too got in because you didn't want to be the "odd one" looking in from the outside
6. Absent-mindedness -- You are preoccupied with other thoughts, not mentally alert or focused
7. Indecisiveness -- You got on the right bus but midway changed your mind about the direction you want to go. Got out and got into the wrong bus. Now you're so confused and can't figure out exactly which is the "right bus" and which one is the "wrong bus"
Say you realize that you are in the wrong bus headed in the wrong direction or traveling on the wrong path, what do most people do?
1. Get so angry and lash out at anyone everyone;
2. Develop a victim mentality (someone, something is making me do it);
3. Throw up their hands and become complacent (there is nothing to do or it's too hard, so why even try it attitude);
4. Become anxious and depressed (why does this always happen to me attitude);
5. Try to distract themselves by becoming the bus-trouble makers, bus-gossipers or "wrong bus" cheerleaders.
6. Complain and blame the driver for how he is driving the "wrong bus".
7. Shut up anyone who tries to say "We're in the wrong bus, people" or tries to get out of the bus.
Wangari Maathai Wangari says that if you realize that you are in the wrong bus headed in the wrong direction or traveling on the wrong path, stop the bus-driver and get out of the bus.
But just how many of us sitting in the "wrong bus" have the courage to tell the driver "Stop. I want to get out of this bus"?
In my experience very few have that kind of courage. Some will stand up but when the "shut up" or "sit down" crowd descends, courage fails them and they sit right back -- in the wrong bus.
It is only by having the courage to "Stop the bus" and actually walk out of that bus that you can change the direction you're headed. And for some of us "Warrior Spirits", we can't help it (can we??) but make our way to the front of the bus (even with all the loud protests, ridicule, and jeering from the shut up, sit down crowd), take the wheel from the driver and drive the bus to the destination we want to go.
As Maathai puts it, " You cannot enslave a mind that knows itself, that values itself, that understands itself."
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Great article. Well done.No wonder she has a noble prize! That's wonderfully clever.Please log in to respond to this comment.Wonderfully clever... she is. Thank you Connor for your time and comment.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I am going to be faced with "choosing a bus" very shortly. I think I know which one I should get on, but it isn't necessarily the one I want to get on. I am praying I choose the right one. (Loved your article by the way. :) )Please log in to respond to this comment.I'm praying you choose the right bus too... but just in case you don't, there is always the other option.. stop the bus and get out... :-) Glad you liked the article ... as always I appreciate your comments.Please log in to respond to this comment.
How sad when we suffer from The Wrong Bus Syndrome for a life time. That means we've lived the wrong life. What life could have been. Very well done, Chrissy.Please log in to respond to this comment."...lived the wrong life"
Very interesting concept, Avis. One I'd not thought about before. Certainly food for thought. Thank you for everything!!!!!Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Christine, I guess I’m too thick to understand. I have barely ridden any buses for years.Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy public transportation, but it seems that where I’m at, mass-transit is never going where I need to go.I have been on a few tour buses, but they just keep going round and round in circles. Come to think of it, most buses go in circles, eventually ending up where they began. I guess this is why it’s important to understand that to get anywhere, you typically have to changes buses a few times.One of my life goals is that some day Jean and I will spend at least a year living in a place where we don’t need to own a car. Maybe then we’ll find more buses going where we’re going. I hope so.Anyway, great article. Wish I understood it better! ;)Please log in to respond to this comment.Bruce, I respect your humility but I am not buying “Wish I understood it better” :-)You went right to the heart of it with … “it’s important to understand that to get anywhere, you typically have to change buses a few times”. I share the same outlook… can't get it right every single time... how can you when all of them seem to go in circles anyway…LOL. What's important in my opinion is that one has the "smarts" to realize it's the wrong bus, the maturity to admit that one took the wrong bus and the courage to get out of it.Public transportation is not my thing either … and I am a relationships coach (oh! the irony)… But life is such that anywhere you go, there is always someone trying to get to somewhere. I don’t mind the jostling and hassling… it’s people who are too lazy to stand on their own… and want to sit on my lap that get to me… makes getting out of the wrong bus even harder.As for a place where you and Jean don’t need to own a car, good luck with that…. tried that too and sometimes it feels like it takes forever to get to anywhere “important”... may be because of too many "wrong buses" on the road... then there is the dust left behind by those who own cars… and splashes of dirt water every time a “wrong bus” passes by….I suspect it’s the reason you and Jean made your way to the front of this bus and trying to drive it where you want it to go. I’m sitting in it and my guess is, it’s not easy… but what’s the alternative ??? If you find out, share it with me… they say sharing is caring...;-)Please log in to respond to this comment.Ha! Well, we're very glad to have you on board, Christine!Please log in to respond to this comment.
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