I Killed Michael Jackson - Guilty As Charged
Posted: Wednesday, September 02, 2009
by Yangki Christine Akiteng
The Real People's Love Doctor
Tamara Conniff wrote an article titled "We killed Michael Jackson" and everyone including his die-hard fans were like "Wow! Wow! Not me". Some pointed fingers at the doctors who supplied Michael Jackson with the drugs that finally took his life; at the media and MJ haters who couldn't give the poor guy a break; at the people around him who couldn't love him enough to help him; and most pointed fingers at Michael Jackson himself. He had a choice they said. I'm probably one of the very few who felt guilty as charged.
" He was a desperate man in pain and everyone threw stones at him. Now it's fashionable to be a Michael Jackson fan".
No, it's not fashionable for me. I loved Michael Jackson the very first time I laid eyes on him in "Thriller". I don't know who did his make-up but I thought he was the hottest black guy I'd ever seen. Never mind the fact that he was ish-ish older than I was.
Over the years, I bought his albums - audio and video - and when I had kids, I introduced them to this very unique individual. And boy! could the son of woman dance or what! Granted. There are millions of body-movers out there, but MJ was born to dance. Every bone in his body was arranged musically. Music was in his blood. Gosh! He could even dance without any music at all. A pure unadulterated natural!
But it wasn't just his voice or his dance moves. There was just something about Michael Jackson. Love him, hate him, it's hard to deny that MJ had something many of us wish we had even a little sprinkle of it. People like him don't come here on earth very often. That's why the whole world knew we had someone special among us when he was here. Most of the people who were fortunate to experience his person report feeling something they can't accurately describe, but knew they felt something.
Without most of us even being consciously aware of it, Michael Jackson changed the tone of the conversation and the way we view each other. I've a strong feeling he knew exactlly what he was doing, and often chuckled to himself at just how much we - his fans and his haters - underestimated his intelligence.
I've always known Michael Jackson was special, but it didn't stop me from throwing a stone or two at his battered body and tortured spirit. As the plastic surgery changed Michael Jackson from the hottest black man I'd ever seen to something strange looking, I cursed under my breathe, I called him names when no one was listening and I somehow hated him for it. I read up everything I could because I wanted to believe his father, the Pepsi Commercial accident and Vitiligo made him do it, but there was just so much out there that I didn't know what to believe.
Then there was the child molestation case. The first time, I didn't believe it right away. Something smelt rotten about the case. The second time round, I began wondering "What If I'm wrong?" I wanted to him to tell me it was all lies and when he released that famous "I'm Innocent" video, I wept with relief. I believed him. Yes, I did. But that little voice "What If I'm wrong?" stayed with me.
Now I think that it was my own guilt that made me switch to another channel every time Michael Jackson came on screen. It felt uncomfortable not just hearing the things people said about him but seeing what he had slowly but surely become. I blamed everyone. Yes, even Michael Jackson himself.
Tamara Conniff wrote, " We killed Michael Jackson. We helped create his gilded cage and then we rejected him".
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!
Is there something I could have said or done to save Michael Jackson?. I don't think so. But Tamara Conniff article made me realize, I'm doing it again with some of the iconic figures I look up to and who inspire me. I don't remember the last time I did a Google search on Nelson Mandela. It's been a while since I watched Oprah. And some of the things people are saying about President Barack Obama and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan are beginning to get to me. During the compaigns he said things that made me believe "finally someone who can relate, is educated enough to get it and will do what's right!" (but what if I'm wrong?).
Is it something about human nature that makes us put some people on a pedestal, expect them to be perfect even knowing they're just human and then reject them for being "just human beings"?
Next time I pick up a stone to throw at the people who've inspired me to find my own voice and creativity, to have the courage to stand up even if I'm the only one standing, to ignore the noise around me and stay focused on what it is I want to achieve, to get up again when I'm struck down but not struck out, to believe and inspire others to believe that anything is possible if they dare to try, I hope that little voice tells me "Remember Michael Jackson!"
R.I.P. Michael. You'll forever be imitated but never duplicated!
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Sorry, Christine, No Sale.I was a fan of the Jackson 5, and of Michael when he struck out on his own. Until he started changing himself. Something went terribly wrong in his life, or already was and was just starting to manifest itself.I did not become an MJ fan upon his death. I feel we lost him long ago, and even wrote an article about it.Please log in to respond to this comment.
WHEN WILL PEOPLE STOP LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!!!! All of our lives depend only on the decisions we make. No matter who you are , you are responsible for your own decisions! Mr Jackson's life ended abruptly because of the decisions he made on a daily basis. Celebrity is not an excuse! He liked to be heavily medicated....that is a fact and his own personal choices. He killed himself through lack of self control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Please log in to respond to this comment.
Self reflection is exactly what I'm talking about. It is human nature to want to medicate ones self. I do not mean just though ingesting chemicals, alcohol or plants. This includes things such as religion, sports, eating, sex...the list can go on and on. Knowledge is pain...after a person is alive long enough, and has acquired enough knowledge, he or she will medicate themselves in one way or another to take a break, so to speak, from the pain of knowledge. This can be, when used in moderation, a very helpful thing. A break, a vacation, I'm sure we can all agree, can be a very healthy thing. I of course, like everyone else at some point have overindulged in my own personal escapes. I am simply saying that we are responsible for our own actions. No matter who you are. Yes MJ had a big heart, and for the most part was a creator, which should be the goal of all people. He has however caused untold pain to his children and family from his premature passing. Escape is a good thing in moderation...to create and live in a complete world of escape is to no longer be what it is that makes us human. Indeed I care more than most for every life on this Earth. Forgive me if it causes me pain and anguish to see endless potential wasted. Indeed many, many lives have been enriched by my existance and hopefully I will be remembered for it...but many people will remember me for good things, and some for bad. To be remembered is not what matters, to make a positive difference in the lives of others is what matters. I am not pointing fingers...I am simply looking with open eyes...Please log in to respond to this comment.
That last comment was me again by the way...and I did not mean to sound so harsh with my first comment. I just happen to be very passionate about my beliefs.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I only seem to contradict other peoples beliefs regarding religion politics and self control. I speak the truth none the less and truth is all that matters...good advice though...thank youPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Bravo Christine!I am in absolute agreement about MJ never being duplicated. Also, your article is a good reminder of the story in the Bible where they were going to stone the prostitute and Jesus told the crowd to let the first person without sin cast the first stone. Everyday I must take my own inventory, not others.Also, I remember listening and dancing to MJ and thriller. It drove my mom crazy! :-)Love, hugs and blessings,MichellePlease log in to respond to this comment.
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